THE SECRET DEVICE
Believed to have been forged by mystical alchemists and metallurgists during the time when Trolls freely walked the Earth, the object known only as THE SECRET DEVICE, has thrilled and perplexed those few that have taken gaze upon it.
HELLBOY - DEVIL MAN UNMASKED!
Calls have been pouring in to the HETFET HOTLINE, confirming the existence of the red-skinned mystery creature whose recent sightings have put the nation on high alert. Citing a major breakthrough in the so-called “Devil Man” investigation, credible sources claim to have discovered his true identity.
TROLL ABUSE ON THE RISE
Troll abuse in Colorado is on the rise, according to a recent HETFET report. This follows a startling trend that, unfortunately, the organization has seen before.
AUGUSTINE CONVICTED OF TROLL CRUELTY
The ongoing war for troll rights takes another step forward, at the expense of Augustine Pharmaceuticals, the makers of the immensely anticipated anti-aging medication Uthyntrol. In what is surely a landmark victory, Augustine was convicted on seven counts of felony cruelty for using troll marrow as the “secret ingredient” in their new line of anti-aging products.
